How to Respond to Your Teen's Self-Harm/NSSI

 Your immediate urge may be to search your teen’s room and personal objects to dispose of all materials and paraphernalia used to self injure. Though that may seem logical, it can actually be counterproductive. Your teen is using NSSI as a means to cope, and without healthier replacement coping skills the emotional distress your teen is feeling could increase and lead to thoughts, and potentially acts, of suicide. Instead, we want to show understanding of what they are experiencing, while also implementing an agreement for safety on how you and your teen will address wounds.​

Expressing your intent for them to stop self-injuring while also expressing your understanding that they don’t yet have better coping skills to manage their pain may provide your teen a feeling of being understood in a way they previously may not have experienced. Having a discussion about the importance of inspecting and cleaning any non-superficial wounds properly is very important. Making sure they have the materials to bandage wounds is important for protecting against infection. Although we don’t want to submit them to random body searches, (this has a high potential of contributing to the self-injuring cycle by producing shame and guilt), we do want an understanding that any non-superficial wounds need to be looked over by a parent to assess the need for further medical care.

Keep in mind once you begin working with a therapist you and your teen will learn more about effective skills they can begin using immediately to address NSSI urges in a healthy way. You’ll also be guided in ways you can best support your teen's individual needs while they transition to NSSI abstinence and further emotional healing.