How Do I Help My Teen?

The best way to begin helping your teen is to first address your own feelings of fear and concern for them. This is a frightening situation to experience, and it’s natural for you to have heightened emotions about what your teen is doing and going through, and you may often feel helpless. Your teen is already experiencing emotional distress, and chances are they are afraid of how you will react to them self-injuring. Your best stance is to approach the situation with knowledge, love, support, and understanding. Your teen may not be able to tell you why they self-injure, and they may not be able to find the right words to describe what they are feeling internally. Seeking to know their reasons why may cause them to feel further shame, guilt, and greater emotional distress. Letting them know you understand that they are hurting and you want to help them feel better is good way to begin the conversation.​​

Seeking out providers that offer treatment for NSSI is the next step. You may want to let your teen take part in determining which therapists you reach out to for further information about their services. This will allow them to be involved in the decision making process of their care, and hopefully empower them to be more actively involved in the treatment. Many times the emotions that contribute to NSSI can come from a feeling of a lack of power over the emotions. Giving your teen an active role in determining their provider can begin the process of recognizing the possibility that they can feel better. Encouraging them to be actively involved in this process can also help them feel more secure in being able to communicate more freely with you about their self-injurious urges and behaviors. This could be very helpful during the transitioning phase of helping your teen implement healthier coping skills to replace the self-injurious behaviors.